One year, pt1

A week from now marks one whole year on hrt. That means that today marks it being a year since I met my ex. The same ex who got me on hormones, taught me about lifestyle D/s first-hand and made me a confused mess for 5 months.

What happened is a bit of a mixed bag. If you were looking in from the outside, it was mostly all negative. But I think it's what I needed at the time. I'll spare the details about everything, because I'll be here all day typing, and frankly I don't want to remember some of the things that happened, much less cement them in writing. So, here's a summary of what I got out of the situation:

Playing with hormones makes you insane.
Leaning on someone is not weakness.
Polyamorous relationships only works with communication. Or more accurately: They don't work without much communication.
Avoid compulsive liars.
Listen to your friends, especially your best friend. (aka bros before hos)
Don't emulate people in an effort to change yourself. Especially when those people are in a worse place than you were before you met them.
Substance abuse doesn't just mean being addicted to drugs or alcohol, and just how bad it can be.
Anger is sometimes a healthy thing to express, as much as I hate it.
The trans community is a small world, and if you like it there, don't do something monumentally stupid with someone. You will see them again.
The difference between abuse and D/s.

Like I said, it seems mostly negative, but it was needed. I've learned from it, I've grown since and I like to think I'm a better person because of what happened. And as much as I hate her now, I still remember the good times, like when I was really sad about a friend and she came to get me, or when we just sat in my room listening to music in the dark talking about things.

The most important thing I learned from this experience: When the bad overwhelms the good in all ways, don't talk yourself into believing the good outshines the bad.