The way I got into the headspace of starting HRT again was to basically revert back to the early days. Trans 101, I suppose. I did all of the same things that I did back then, to remind myself of how I felt. It helped a lot, and reminded me why I started in the first place. One of the best things I gained during during transition was a large group of friends, which I'm slowly recovering.
Last night I went out to have dinner with a friend and some other people. I was quite anxious about it, and worried I wouldn't fit in since I'm pretty masculine. I debated not going, but knew I would regret that choice. This was going to be good for me, I need more friends and it would be good to do something that didn't involve my housemate.
I pushed myself, got ready and braved the night, and ended up having a great time. We talked about Overwatch, the MCU, shitty movies and other geek stuff. Despite it wearing me out extremely fast, I loved it. It was well needed, and I didn't even mind returning home to a dark empty flat. I just played WoW, talked shit at my guildies and called it a night.
This is a major thing for me. I actually did something good for myself that was social.
