The co-host of the radio show I'm on had a falling out with the host, so I said I could help out more, and she reacted pretty well to that idea.
This is the first time in a long time I've been excited about doing more, and taking on more responsibility. I guess it's mostly because of the eventual rewards of this. I really love movies and pop culture, so if I do more for the show I'll get exposed to more of it. I'm rather looking forward to the idea of making contacts and getting my name out there. It would be really cool to be some kind of journalist, and maybe eventually get into making movies in some aspect.
With all that said, I feel bad about the host and co-host breaking up like this. Part of me feels kinda guilty for all of that previous paragraph being the first thing to pop into my head when I heard the news. Almost like someone dying and wondering what your share of the inheritance will be.
Friday 19 April 2013
Thursday 4 April 2013
Satellite
My trouble relating to people is well documented here. It's not severe, or crippling, but it leads to very complicated and confusing places. I look at two people who meet, and seem to be friends. But I take a long time to get there with most people. Serina is probably the fastest I've considered someone a friend after meeting them.
For instance, very recently I've become friends with someone fairly new in my life, Cali, but I've known them for months. That's moving fast for me. We talk almost every day, mostly because we play World of Warcraft together. She's also trans, and knows I'm sexual, which also shakes me a bit. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, but I'm used to it scaring people or confusing them, so I rarely talk about it. But it's easy with her, and she also talks about her sexuality with me.
I look at my life, and the communities I'm in, and the people I'm surrounded by, and I see a very select few as friends. I enjoy the company of many people, and I get along with almost everyone at my group, but I've rarely seen anyone's house, and almost no one has been to my house. Not that that's a strict definition of friendship, I couldn't tell you what pushes someone over that imaginary line into my friendship zone.
But here's the interesting thing: I'm ok with it.
Lately, after seeing Serina's energy levels go extra crazy, as well as being around E again who also has energy problems, I'm understanding my own energy better. I'm introverted, people drain me, and there's nothing wrong with that. It would make sense, given that people drain me, I let a very select few be exposed to me on a regular basis.
I would enjoy having a circle of friends who I see constantly, and go out with, but it's more the idea I enjoy. I've had that before, and rejected it because I hated it. Staying at home most of the time, playing Starcraft and WoW and being on Skype makes me happy. Controlling who I talk to and how often I do it is becoming vital to my wellbeing, especially given that I'm now part of a radio show, where my job is to do exactly the thing that exhausts me.
For instance, very recently I've become friends with someone fairly new in my life, Cali, but I've known them for months. That's moving fast for me. We talk almost every day, mostly because we play World of Warcraft together. She's also trans, and knows I'm sexual, which also shakes me a bit. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, but I'm used to it scaring people or confusing them, so I rarely talk about it. But it's easy with her, and she also talks about her sexuality with me.
I look at my life, and the communities I'm in, and the people I'm surrounded by, and I see a very select few as friends. I enjoy the company of many people, and I get along with almost everyone at my group, but I've rarely seen anyone's house, and almost no one has been to my house. Not that that's a strict definition of friendship, I couldn't tell you what pushes someone over that imaginary line into my friendship zone.
But here's the interesting thing: I'm ok with it.
Lately, after seeing Serina's energy levels go extra crazy, as well as being around E again who also has energy problems, I'm understanding my own energy better. I'm introverted, people drain me, and there's nothing wrong with that. It would make sense, given that people drain me, I let a very select few be exposed to me on a regular basis.
I would enjoy having a circle of friends who I see constantly, and go out with, but it's more the idea I enjoy. I've had that before, and rejected it because I hated it. Staying at home most of the time, playing Starcraft and WoW and being on Skype makes me happy. Controlling who I talk to and how often I do it is becoming vital to my wellbeing, especially given that I'm now part of a radio show, where my job is to do exactly the thing that exhausts me.
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