Last night I went out to a bar I love. It hosts weekly drag shows and only drag kings on friday nights. I usually take my toy octopus Ralph there and rest him on my head. He takes away a lot of my people-related anxiety, because if I have him on my head and people stare, they're looking at him. If I don't have him on my head and people stare, they're looking at me. But it's also a nice way to meet people, it's surprising how approachable someone becomes when they have a plush octopus on their head. He has since evolved beyond a security blanket and more of a mascot.

On friday when we went in, the drag host was working the door. He asked where Ralph was, which was a bit weird because I don't think I've had a conversation with him before. But whatever, I always have Ralph with me, and I go there a lot. Then when he went on stage he plugged the trans group I go to and said that we have a few people from the group in here tonight, mentioned my friend and then me. That was weird. He knew my name?

The same thing happened last night, I went to the bar for a drink and he was there and said "Hey Bailey"

It's so weird for this to happen to me. To be a regular somewhere that isn't Subway. I used to hate bars, but now I've found one where I'm comfortable and that's nearby.

This also extends into the subcommunity I've found myself in. Finding trans and queer people my age was the best thing I could have done. I love my new friends. They make me feel so comfortable with myself and I love the fact that everyone seems to know each other. I never thought I'd be able to find a group of people like this, let alone be welcomed into one.

I must make a conscious effort to not make a dick of myself from now on.