So... after several uncomfortable talks with my mother, it's pretty much agreed on that if I want to progress any further (with transition, social life, and just life in general) it can't be in her house.
She isn't kicking me out. We just had a talk, and I've kinda... reached the capacity living here can offer. I get money now, so living away from home isn't impossible anymore, financially. I want to transition more, but living here I'm under the constant threat of family, who don't know about me yet.
However, leaving home... that fills me with all sorts of fears and paranoia. My mother was very overprotective of me when I was growing up, and I was always super shy. This meant she wrapped me in cotton wool, and let me do nothing, like talk on the phone or order my own food at restaurants. I have a lot of anxieties about doing things for myself. A lot of them shouldn't be fears at my age, but they are.
I guess... just try to focus on what moving out will bring?
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