Vanilla

My friend told me she's seeing a guy who is "into whips and chains" but it's not her thing. She just does it sometimes for him. But it doesn't do it for her.

I hear kinky people say they don't do vanilla sex, and I've heard stories of really kinky people breaking up with amazing partners just because they're vanilla. Because it doesn't do it for them.

This has been on my mind a lot lately, the concept of vanilla versus kink. I've had a lot of vanilla sex, and a lot of kinky sex (or at least sexual acts with other people), but I haven't really thought about the difference and how they effect me. Nor have I really known why I prefer the kink, to take the submissive role in the bedroom.

There's also a word I keep coming across in relation to kink: Lifestyle. I used to think that people threw this word around a bit when it didn't fit. I used to see the "lifestyle" as being a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship in all aspects of life, but I've come to see it's not. It really is a lifestyle for pretty much all involved, including me. I don't think I could be with anyone who didn't like tying me up and calling a fucking whore, just like I couldn't be with someone who didn't see me as female.