Hero worship

Looking up to someone is dangerous. It skews your view of them, makes them seem different to how they really are. Larger than life. It's really rare that I find someone I look up to so much that they become my hero, so rare that it's only happened once.

When I was in high school, I was having a lot of trouble. Not just with school, with life. I was unhappy and just barely passing my classes. When I got to year 11, I got the option of doing multimedia. I really wanted to try some of that stuff for ages, so I gave it a go. I loved it, and picked it all up instantly. I also loved the teacher, he helped me learn so much in those two years until I graduated.

At his core, he was chaotic, and always full of positive re-enforcement. He was creative, brilliantly mad, and the first teacher of mine I could call a friend. He let me stay in the multimedia room after school, and left me to my own devices when I worked. I liked it that way. He was amazed at how fast I picked up Dreamweaver and Flash, and he even wanted me to help showcase what we can do during the schools open night.

He saved me. I was in a deep depression at the time, and he pulled me out of it. I was angry, and sad, and lonely. The work was inspiring to me, and he was a hugely positive element in my whole 2 final years of high school. My grades in other classes picked up, and I got happier.

He was a bit of a shady character too. He gave me a bottle of wine when I graduated, and my first drug experience for my 18th birthday.

Tonight I found out that he was having sex with a minor. That shattered my view of him. There's no way to sugar coat this. My only hero is a paedophile. He has a wife and two kids, all 3 of which I've met a few times.

He's in jail now, I guess. He may as well be dead to me.