I've been invited to a few "girls only" events in the last few months, and while it's nice, there is a part of me that thinks I really don't belong there. But why? I identify as female, I look fairly feminine, I have mini-boobs, I'm transitioning to be seen as female. I guess what doesn't help my mental state is what I see myself as, and what I'm missing.
I still don't have a female voice and I still haven't done anything about my facial hair, beyond shaving it and wearing foundation to hide it. I guess I don't see myself as "female enough" to be included in a girls-only place, especially when it's a cis-girls-only place that's open to transgirls. Ugh it's all very convoluted inside my head, and I'm probably making a way bigger deal out of it than it needs to be.
There is an event on early next month for female-identifying people, and highlights the fact it's inviting crossdressers, transsexuals, cis, intersex at any stage in whatever transition they're going through, which is comforting.
I guess my sense of non-belonging is just a simple lack of going to things. I feel like an outsider simply because I am, I've never been. Maybe I should make a bigger effort to make myself feel like I belong and go to things I'm invited to.
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