Last night I was feeling horrible about myself. I hated every other transgirl I knew and didn't know, and felt seering jealousy towards all that are where they want to be and make it seem easy. I was even jealous of someone who has had their Op, even though it's really not something I'm planning on having.
Today, I was thinking about it, and realised I'm really not jealous of them, I'm just angry at myself for stopping myself from doing the things I want to do.
There's a really nice black and red dress I've been seeing around, and every time I see it I run away because I'm afraid it won't suit me, or it won't fit, or just some random reason. Well, fuck you Fear. I'm going to the shop tomorrow and if it fits me, I'm getting it.
Even writing this has made a switch in my brain go from Angry Random Jealousy to Calm Self Contentedness.
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