I was thinking about recent events in my life, and I suddenly got very sad, and anxious. I was listening to music through my speakers, because mum isn't home, but when I started thinking about these things I suddenly wanted my headphones on, even though I was already listening to music.
Maybe this is one of those Walls I talked about before, to keep things out. When you've got headphones on, the only thing that exists is what is pumping through them. When my mum has been in a bad mood, I put them on and turn up the music so I can't hear her anymore.
Maybe it's a byproduct of the music? I associate headphones with music, so I just feel better with them on?
Putting them on, I felt a wave of calm wash over me. I'm not sure how I feel about this. The last few weeks have lead me to believe that keeping people out isn't the best, and the fact something that stops communication with others makes me so comfortable is... counter to what I want.
Exposed, is the word. That's how I felt, and that scares me. I just wish it didn't.
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