Wanting and doing

Sigh.

Tomorrow I'm going to a dentist to get a local anesthetic so I can get electrolysis done on my lip without excruciating pain (there's a nerve that runs under the nose on the lip that is very sensitive). I hate getting needles, which I think I've said before. But I realise this is the lesser of two evils, so I'm going to get this done. Last time I nearly threw up. I was scared, but I had someone with me to take care of me, so it was ok. Tomorrow it's looking like I'll have someone there again, which is good.

I also have to get a blood test for that other thing that's going on right now. I've been putting it off but I'm almost out of hormones so that kinda forced my hand. The appointment is for monday. Just the thought of this is putting me on edge. I haven't had a blood test done by myself in a long time...

Where I'm going with this, is that these are things I do not want to do, but they're in the way of things I want. So I'm gonna do it. I'm not going to enjoy them, not even a little bit. In fact I'm expecting one of them to make me feel terrible for the rest of the day. And yet, I'm still going.

I thought writing this would make me feel better about going. It's kinda made me feel worse. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.