Saturday, 19 November 2011

Binging and quitting (Motivation 3)

I can't do moderation. I just can't. If I let myself have even a little bit of junk food, I'll just keep eating it and eating it.

With this in mind, my diet has been to basically cold-turkey every food I love, because everything I love to eat is terrible for you. People kept saying that it shouldn't happen like this, but I can't do it any other way. I can't have just a little bit every now and then. I need it all the time, or never.

It's been about a month since I started doing this , and I set out mostly what I wanted to: To fit back into my lolita outfit.

About a week ago I got really really depressed about it, all I wanted to do was to eat something that tasted good. So I looked up how much your mood should change on a diet, and every single result I got was that if dieting makes you miserable you're being too hard on yourself and too strict. But, once again, that was the only way I could do this. So that night I weighed up things in my head:

Would I be happier eating what I liked, and be chubby
Or
Would I be happier being thinner and not eating what I liked

So yeah, I went with the chubby food-loving side.

It's not all bad, though. The night after I decided that, I went to McDonald's, just cos I wanted SOMETHING unhealthy. I ate it, and guess what? I still didn't like the taste of it.

So I reconsiddered what I wanted, and how I was going to achieve it.

It's taken a few days to think it through, but I think I'm going to continue with what I was doing, but giving myself a break, and trying moderation. I don't think it's going to have a good result, but trying is better than just resigning myself to a weight I'm unhappy with, right?

1 comment:

  1. I'm much the same way. Especially with sweets. My body craves sugar so much that when I don't have it I get headaches. But when I do have some, I cannot stop eating it. It's a problem.

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