As usual, I'm in the middle of something I want, but don't believe will happen.
I've wanted something like this for a long time, and unlike a lot of my previous encounters, this is pretty close to my fantasy, my ideal-world thing. I've been coming to terms with the extreme likelihood that what I wanted would never exist, and even if it did I wouldn't be anywhere near it. But now it seems tangible, plausible.
But wanting and getting are two different things. I usually have no problem initiating, but in the middle is where I fall apart most of the time. There's also so many things about myself that I believe are not only appealing, but repulsive, and leaves me in a limbo where I'm too far for one person, but not far enough for another. I've been on hormones for almost 3 years, yet I still have an insane amount of body hair? How can someone be so broken?
I feel like stagnation is my default.
No comments:
Post a Comment