Who really disappointed me in the last few weeks?
Thinking about it all, what what I wanted from those people seemed simple on the surface. But it's the lifestyle I wanted, and was denied.
Like last month, and my Night in Hell, it was just a reach for the thing I wanted, and this time I fell on my face. The people concerned don't know what this meant for me, and I approached it from that angle intentionally. I don't like letting people in a lot of the time, and they don't need to know. It's about me, and what kind of person I want to be.
I'm scared to initiate something again, but I'm trying to remind myself that it doesn't always end with this kind of result, and I'm struggling a lot. I still want the end goal though. So it's really just a matter of time before I try again.
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